You Don't Mess with the Zohan

2008

Action / Comedy

Synopsis


Uploaded By: Bokutox
Downloaded 97,736 times
December 23, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Director

Cast

Adam Sandler as Zohan
John Turturro as Phantom
Nick Swardson as Michael
720p 1080p
750.13 MB
1280*688
English
PG-13
English
23.976 fps
1hr 53 min
P/S 8 / 46
1.55 GB
1920*1040
English
PG-13
English
23.976 fps
1hr 53 min
P/S 7 / 39

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by newfnshow616 6 / 10

Turn Off Your Brain

I walked into the theater with my brain shut off. And if you enjoy Adam Sandler, you have to. If you go by typical standards, all of Adam Sandler's movies are absolute garbage. But yet people still love them, I am one of them.

I went into this looking to have fun watching a movie, and I did. Yes, it was ridiculous in every possible way, but it was pretty much exactly what I was paying to see, Adam Sandler's sense of humor running rampant with all of his friends holding down bit parts.

If you are looking for a high quality, well thought-out story with twists and turns and an ending that ties it all together and leaves you walking out of the theater satisfied, look elsewhere.

But if you aren't easily offended and are a fan of Adam Sandler's work, then you'll have fun with the silky smooth goodness that Zohan brings to the table.

Reviewed by southsider2000 1 / 10

Hair Pollution

You know, sometimes I just don't understand what the heck is going through Adam Sandler's head. He's a funny guy with natural charisma and, I would guess, a reasonable level of intelligence. So why does he feel compelled to write and produce films of such appallingly low quality? It worked with his initial efforts, Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore. Those two films defied any sense of logical criticism. They were sloppy, yet contained a maniacal sense of anarchic glee. He seemed thrilled at what he was getting away with. Yet, since the release of those films over a decade ago, he has continued to crank out by-the-numbers mediocrity that lacks any feeling of comic discovery.

It is my unfortunate duty now to inform you that his latest, You Don't Mess With The Zohan, is by far his most wretchedly awful film to date. Sandler's character this time, a Mossad agent who dreams of being a hairdresser, would probably fill a lame Saturday Night Live skit, but stretched to over 100 minutes is akin to Chinese water torture.

Zohan isn't any normal secret agent; he's a walking caricature of crass Middle Eastern stereotypes and snickering vulgarity. With a Wham!-inspired haircut and a penchant for shtupping elderly women, he finds employment at a small salon run by the sweet, yet blank, Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui), a Palestinian woman with no patience for Zohan's sexism. As can be predicted, despite their antagonistic relationship, they soon are yearning to "make the bam-boom". Their insipid love story intermingles with a laugh-free subplot featuring Zohan's nemesis the Phantom (John Turturro) and a hapless Arab cab-driver (Rob Schneider, ladies and gentlemen...) ineptly planning murder attempts.

Now, racial stereotyping and crude humor can be used to great comic effect in the proper hands. The makers of Borat toed the line brilliantly, delivering great vulgar hilarity mixed with social commentary. You Don't Mess With The Zohan is not even in the same time zone, much less ballpark. The film is amazingly hostile and mean-spirited, mocking its targets with unfiltered scorn for the majority of the running time, yet tacking on a "we're all the same" message at the end. It's like the school-yard bully who beats the snot out of you all semester but wishes you a good summer at when vacation time rolls around. Why did no one involved in this debacle pull Sandler aside and gently suggest that this material was unfilmable? Also concerning is the amount of animal abuse presented for cheap laughs. There is a particularly soul-killing scene featuring Zohan and two friends playing hacky-sack with a cat. Now, a good writer would use this undeniably objectionable act as a springboard to a larger pay-off. That would redeem the bad taste and warrant the scene's inclusion. Not here however, where the only apparent joke is that a trio of grown men are kicking the stuffing out of a helpless animal.

What is almost fascinating about Zohan is how little interest the screen-writers have in their own story. New story lines are launched at random to replace the ones running out of gas. I couldn't believe that the introduction of an evil land-developer to the film occurred near the end of the second act. It would seem that writers' Sandler, Judd Apatow, and Robert Smigel knew that their material was limited and hoped that by padding it liberally, no one would notice. Hence, the heavy helping of crotch close-ups, homophobia, hummus jokes, and dry humping present. As well, the endless cameos come off as desperate and pointless, although it is amusing that Mariah Carey has finally found a fitting companion piece for Glitter.

To call You Don't Mess With The Zohan a misfire is a grand understatement. It's a dreary trudge through migraine-inducing territory that is all the more unforgivable considering the level of talent involved. There's an old adage that it takes true skill and artistry to create a truly horrific film, as hacks will only produce bland mediocrity. Well, Zohan is a colossal achievement, a film that will receive endless mentions on "Worst of 2008" lists, and the rants of legions of angry ticket-buyers. With that said though, Sandler may have inadvertently found a point of agreement for Israelis and Palestinians. I think that both sides would agree that You Don't Mess With The Zohan flat-out SUCKS!

Reviewed by wolverinesforever 7 / 10

Uneven, but funny

Look folks, this is ADAM SANDLER we're talking about here. Yes, this is the same stuff that he was doing ten years ago with "The Waterboy." Yes, this is the same company that brought us "Happy Gilmore" and "Click." And yes, while I have aged a bit since I could appreciate the his silliness, there is still a part of me that enjoys the goofy fun that Adam Sandler likes to put on screen. I knew very well coming in to the 7:45 showing of "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" that this was going to be crazy. And sure enough, it was. But you know what, I liked it, my friend liked it, quite a few people in the audience liked it, it was a good time had.

Adam Sandler loves to put himself in ridiculous situations. In "Gilmore," he was a hockey nut with a hidden talent for golf. In "Mr. Deeds," he became a billionaire overnight. This guy has played football (twice), gone on fifty first dates, paused and sped up his life, and married Kevin James. Now, he's an Isreali counter-terrorist with a fetish for cutting hair. Oh, and he loves making sexual remarks as much as Borat does. Sound familiar? Thought it did.

So how does the humor compare to previous Sandler features? Well, it's unfocused. Part of the problem is that three writers with different mentalities are writing the script. The silliness comes from Sandler, the raunchy stuff comes from Apatow, and everything else comes from Smigel. Although I found myself laughing at quite a few parts (particularly when the Zohan was on the job as a soldier), there were also a lot of parts where I was thinking to myself "Come on. Another shot of the crotch?" (Or butt, or some other sexual reference) All of these various ingredients have been thrown in together, and the end result is, let's face it, uneven.

But though the movie may have lacked focus, I couldn't help but have fun with it. You see, unlike "Mr. Deeds" (which I found boring and lame), this film goes whole hog. Sandler and the cast surrounding him do almost everything in their power to make a joke out of something. These guys aren't sleepwalking through their roles, to the contrary, they're having a great time putting on a show. It's contagious. About halfway through the movie, I began to realize the reason I was having fun with the "Zohan" was because this movie essentially gives out an open invitation to enjoy the silliness that was being presented. By the end of the movie, Sandler had done the most outrageous acts I had seen him do since "Happy Gilmore." And frankly, I think I prefer Sandler when he just tries everything.

Fans of Sandler will most likely enjoy this one, non-fans should pass. For what it's worth, "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" is a good continuation of the act Sandler has put on for us for over a decade now. Worth a Saturday matinee.

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